put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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