dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
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