I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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