Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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