... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Im part way to drunk.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
