Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
