I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Randomize
