he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Someone came in the potted fern
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
