i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
