Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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