Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Someone shattered a urinal.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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