so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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