I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
