it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I did not marry a roomba.
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