Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
