i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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