Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
