My hand turned me down
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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