wanna go halves on a baby?
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
