She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
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