I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Randomize
