you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
