not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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