Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
