You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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