sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
