My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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