People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
