so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
