last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
