Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
