fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
"it" just moved
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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