Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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