She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
