I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
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