Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
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