Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
