Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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