thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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