Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
