Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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