you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
