You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Randomize
