I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
