she was so not down for the gang bang
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
