Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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