I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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