yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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