Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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