That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
