Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
