Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
