apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
