i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Acid is not a monday night drug
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
