How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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